After 23 years of Satyagraha, the agitation for the Truth/truth, the author Dr Shantanu Panigrahi of 3 Hoath Lane, Wigmore, Gillinghan, Kent, ME8 0SL, United Kingdom and a British National since his naturalisation in the United Kingdom of 1984, endorsed with a Passport of the United Kingdom that is still valid as he decided to tell his reasons for the results of the studies in research that he carried out and in light of this evening material developments since the consideration of the following deliberations, he decided that he had found the truth of the Nature of Truth as the Reality of our Existence on this Planet Earth.

Accordingly, he wishes to share his Ananda (joy/happiness/blissful existence) with humanity in the offer from Bravenet to host his findings.


In what I describe as Vaishnavism one still needs full alertness just to survive another moment, it is therefore not a religion that I describe my raison d'etre to be but a survival trick that accidentally came along like all other conceptions and actions before it in charting the course of my assumed pre-destiny, hypothesized ever since my 1998 visions or hallucinations however one feels those to have been psychiatrically, and taking my other utterances of those times, that had all taken together aroused my curiosity to seek their meaning of in terms of whether they indicated a purpose for my existence to come, and especially if they were in the spiritual sense some kind of Sparks of Awakening-impulses into me by some Entity external to my conscious mind, I now feel that worshipping a God so far conceptualized by myself as Sri Krishna as lately the Vishnu in representing Himself in the Spermind of my Consciousness, the term that I hypothesised as existing somewhere beyond the bodily-mind in its deepest recesses tentatively in the developing stages of the formulation of the frame-work of my satya-advaita yogic experimentation, having read Sri Aurobindo's book ‘the supramental descent upon Earth’ as something worth thinking about, I really still have no evidence for the existence of God as Sri Krishna to be the Creator of the Brahma-Nature (that in the later years I also tentatively conceptualized in consisting of sattvic, tamasic, and rajasic guna-consciousness dimensions). I have no bhakti left now, for after 23 long years of floating about in properly-diagnosed in my present assessment, of having ‘persistent delusional disorder’ occasionally-characterised by ‘paranoid schizophrenia’, and I am none the wiser as a human being unable to rationalise whether even Vaishnavism is a viable and sustainable way of living one's life in occupying pin-pointedly the middle ground of Reality that I said was the rajasic description of it in Hindu conception. So it has to be jettisoned now in firmly wishing to survive another day from the predatory elements of this samsaric-jungle, for I may have been fooling myself totally in attempting once again to find another solution to the human condition (from the previous Green Socialism idea - they may be the same thing but now more explicitly defined as Conservative Libertarianism, I feel now, and based on a revision of advaita vedanta to expose the intricacies of vishista-advaita vedanta that is part of Hindu folklore) to leave a legacy of self-importance as delusions of grandeur. I really do feel that I followed an honest path of persevering in a philanthropic frame of mind to find a solution to the way forward for humanity to come together from its diverse cultural states across the world, perhaps.

Notwithstanding, and to be quite honest in this Summary of my life and works, I was never really seeking anything specific as a mission, not even knowledge per se, let alone wisdom but chasing a dream sparked by those early visions. The accomplishments, for what they are worth just happened to come along in charting my truth-path to see if I was indeed pre-destined to achieve something great in my life to make it more meaningful than the mundane experimental science that was the start of my career in adult-life at the Natural Resources Institute; and so, I do not and must not prescribe any of it to any individual or group as gospel truth: as I see it now none have been explicitly rejected so far but none accepted either as material or spiritual truths, or even if these were and still are staging posts for mankind towards some ultimate reality yet to come, either in my own lifetime or in the future that others might have the chance to judge and take further forward into greater clarity and precision or let these works rot into the dustbin of history, if appropriate: I see myself as having done my bit. It was all an experiment that I cannot even say now has found vishista-advaita vedanta. So, it has not been fruitful in the sense of having found any hidden secrets of the universe, that I had uttered then at the prospects of moving up to higher things than the noddy work in the laboratories of the Institute, that is certain.

But I am very happy, peaceful and contented on this day, of our wedding anniversary, that our family life is still standing. What more do I need.


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